From 1955-74, the north was the enemy of the united states and now we stood in the capital. We were hated. People wouldn't sell to us, dirty looks were always given, and it's never been so obvious that we were being financially cheated.
I understood though. We fucked their country and future. Needlessly. There isn't another word for it. Who knows what they were taught about us in school. It seemed like the only ones who showed interest were those too young to know their country's history.
At a park I saw a youth less man sitting alone on a bench. I ached, starved for the ability to speak Vietnamese for just five minutes. "what do you know of me. What have you seen. How has your country changed. What is your story. What role did you play in that movie called war and the two worlds." the only thing he could give me was a fractional second of eye contact. That's all I had to give.
I took out money from an ATM and counted it at the store. I realized my mistake when I heard, "oh you are very rich" in a sad, envious tone from behind the register. I felt like an ass, practically flashing my privilege in her face.
Don't let the bed bugs bite...unless you stay at a cheap hotel. The white scars are now a reminder to check the mattress each night.
We haggled on a room price. Being that we were white, the man got on the phone to call his boss and see if the price we offered was ok. He asks us," where are you from?" With out discussion or hesitation, we chant in unison- "Australia."
In a slap happy mood we sat up late on our beds reminiscing about the last few weeks. How obscure it was to draw a beach when lost in the mountains looking for directions. How people pretend to understand and say 'yes' while you rant on only to have your speach be answered with a shrug and a laugh. How it's easier for us to find English here than it would be for them to find vietnamese in USA. they probably find a pho place and stay there their entire vacation where pho is on a 1200% markup because it's a delicacy there. I'll tell you something, illnever eat at a pho place ever again. Even at a 1200% discount.
Making noise on the computer late one night, I gave the hotel attendant ear plugs because they all sleep in the lobby. Which left me to deal with the drunk man who would have peed on me of it wasn't for the glass shield stopping the flow. Kawm kawm. The hotel clerks have warmed up to our presence- funny how that happens when youre forced to live with someone.
You'd be surprised at the level and omnipresence of romanticism in Vietnamese culture. There are more guys with girlfriends than without. every television show is about love. Every song is a duet. Maybe that's why there's more baby formula than any other product at every store. Seriously.
We made flyers for our bikes and posted them at the places where foreigners gather. While slapping one on a board at a hostel, we met individuals looking to make the inverse of the route we did. Talking up the bikes, we made it to our place and showed off the product. For the first time all trip mine wouldn't start. Of corse. I didn't even bother to tell them it was the first time this had happened; I wouldn't believe me. Gus's leaked oil. They still bought them at a $70 hit to us- not bad for no headlights.
We took the money and left for halong bay by public bus. It was a somber feeling to be bound by time and ticket.
There seems to be more smokers than non. I was offered a cigarette and declined. Perplexed described the mans facial arrangement.
At dinner I said too loudly how I didn't want to grow old. Only children do. There was a bald man sitting one table away and I know he heard me. He ate his supper alone, silent, chewing with closed eyes, possibly contemplating the time when he had hair. I felt terrible and wanted to converse as a way to make up. But what would I have said. So I said nothing and instead looked at my arm, picturing it aged 40 years with wrinkles. I saw my reflection on the wall and imagined grey hair.
What have I done with my life. What have you. We may not have much longer. What can we do now to make ourselves feel good in that situation; satisfied with our life decisions. I think thats where many are lost.
And then one day you'll find, 10 years have gone behind you no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
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