I'll have a new president by the time I get home and surprisingly (to myself) i couldn't care less. Our brains are like water and water takes the form of whatever container you put it in. Culture and society is the container. When you take your liquid and force it into these different molds, you learn how malleable your belief system and mental structure truly is. Being here has shown me that America is only that; a STATE of mind (pun intended). USA is just another embassy, airline destination, trade partner, dollar bill design, gps cordinate, flag art, 'nationality'-box-to-check, hunk of rock floating in an ocean. It's nothing special, we've only been trained to think that it is. Flaunting our 'superior' status on the world stage equates to nothing more than a a child bragging about an item that a grandparent had given them. I can't vote for the president even if I wanted to. But if I could, I'd vote for neither of them unless I knew that they knew this.
It was our first scramble preparing to leave a country. We bought a 21 hour bus ticket to Laos, about $100 worth of kip(their currency), and three meals stuffed into plastic bags.
I'm reading the most stereotypical book I could have picked; on the road by jack keroak. It wasn't planned I promise. I started reading about a year ago and never got past page 10. I should have read it on the bus to laos, but as sal paradise said," I preferred to read the landscape"
I keep trying to tell myself where I am as if to take me back to that virgin mental state, but it doesn't shake me. I think I subconsciously tell myself first, " I am in the world" which brings far more comfort than "I'm on a floating piece of it."
We got a little roudy on the bus and after waking at the Laos border we realized that a number of our items had been stolen. That included sunflower seeds that could be heard cracking at random intervals throughout the bus population.
During the war, Laos had been bombed by the united states on average every 8 minutes for nine years at a cost of over 2 million usd per day. The first city we visited, phonsovan, was the most detonated province of all.
Theres only one word to describe the people of this town: stoic. I wonder what stories they are told about the world and why theirs was the way it was.That's all we are, a collection if stories repeated to us from the hundred years of collective "knowledge". The stories always change depending on culture and location. I wonder if they wonder about what I was told. But even now my story is constantly changing, like a newspaper article with words made from puzzle pieces.
There's and epidemic of people losing limbs and lives due to unexplored ordinances- land mines that were dropped from planes. We went to a museum detailing the devistated lives of the victims. All we could do was give a donation to help with the clearing of the remaining devices. Literally cleaning up the mess our previous generation left. Sorry is a meaningless word.
We saw the craters in the land. We saw the bombshells now used as fence posts. We saw people walking around with artificial limbs. And yet it's just a story. None of that ever happened. It couldn't, this place is too beautiful.
The people here are beautiful. It's amazing how organic and lively a societal vibe can be. We were in a different world separated by a hand drawn line on a map. "how many horns have you heard" none. Even the way they say hello resonates like mellow honey: saibahdee.
I no longer look at a house and evaluate it for aesthetic value- I see it as shelter and evaluate how well it keeps the rain out. I no longer see food and wonder how it tastes, I judge the nutritional value of the mess. I no longer care if my water is cold, my priority is if it's safe to drink.
The people here live in the moment- in the most genuine sense of the concept. It's a way of life I'm slowly acquiring. I can't think about the future because routine doesn't exist and I don't know what the hell is going to happen even an hour from now. I can't think about the past cause i dont have time and there's too much in front of me. You've got to constantly be aware. Life becomes more interesting that way.
I dread going home and having to use a clock. "Time is meaningless. My life is merely a series of events."
We moved on to a city called vang vieng- home of the happy pizza. Didn't know what that was till an hour later; at that point it was VERY clear. We got a kayak guide to ceuise with us down the river. He was 45 and had three children, "two boys" he said with a tone of pride. I remember looking at him from many yards back, seeing his fluid movement and pretending he was my father. The male position is so different from that of the US. Men here literally have to provide for their families. In our culture, monetary supermarket transactions are meant to replicate the hunter gatherer mindset. In this culture, if the fish net is empty, they don't eat.
We need a new model for humans to live by. These people have it right and they do it with a smile.
We rented a motorbike and rode to a lagoon outside of town. Thinking we'd save money, I asked one of the grounds keepers if we could sleep there in our hammocks. Aside from it being the worst night of sleep I've ever had, we woke and couldn't find the key. The company had to drive out a new one that cost far more than a hotel room. Which just might have defeated the entire purpose of sleeping there. Just maybe.
We left for luang probang, Laos. Two little boys came up trying to sell me these less than desirable bracelets. "no thanks no thanks"- I didnt want to spend the money. So they stuck around and we started talking with what little English they knew. They go to school in the morning and then spend all day selling these things. They kept looking at the ice cream stand so I offered to buy them ice cream instead of jewelry. I asked the lady how much after they started eating it and she told me- it was far more expensive then the bracelets they were selling. Yet again.
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